Arguing is always good between any husband and wife as it clear all misunderstanding, but imposing of decision either on husband or wife can make the relation bitter. Decision should always be taken, considering all aspects including each other engagement, priorities etc. Otherwise, ill feelings can build up, and turn into wounds that never heal.
Never try to slight your partner, especially before others. It is one wound that never heals. Both the partner should try to change if the situation demands. Minor changes in any of the partner for his/her love can never hurt their ego or self respect.
Marriage is an emotional relationship. This only survives if both partner communicate and give importance to each other.
Please come up with your suggestion if anybody has.
After the honeymoon
ReplyDeleteInitially, the fury of passion blinds a couple. They are blind to mistakes, blind to shortcomings, blind to pain, blind to hardships… Cupid works overtime. But when the fire settles the love story begins. Make sure that it has a happy ending.
Happy couples know that the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over. They know that unless you maintain the garden of love, its beauty will wither and die.
Now discover the things that happy couples do:
1. Go to bed at the same time. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
2. Cultivate common interests. After the passion settles down, it's common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don't minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it's more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can't resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Our skin has a memory of "good touch" (loved), "bad touch" (abused) and "no touch" (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the "good touch," which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
6. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
7. Do a "weather" check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you're more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
8. Be proud to be seen with your partner. Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -- hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Even if these actions don't come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship. They know that it takes 30 days for a change in behavior to become a habit, and a minimum of six months for a habit to become a way of life and love.
Hi Anuradha,
ReplyDeleteFight / Argument is always good in a marital relationship. Whenever we fight with each other we make up by having a marathon session of love making.[Please don’t mind love making word, we all are matured and discussing matured content]. Whenever we argue we should analyze later if it’s a trivial issue, we all should forget it before morning. Even if it’s not trivial we should not take it to our ego like mujhse kyon nahi poochha, meri opinion kyon nahi li. We should give each other enough freedom so that each other can take decisions for each other. We should learn to respect each other’s decisions. Even if the decision is not wrong just because one has not asked other we should not fight. Aisa bhi ho sakta hai doosra aapse itna pyar karta hai aur trust karta hai ki use lagta hai usne kuch kiya hai to doosre ko acha lagega.
If decision is wrong, we should not jump then and there to fight rather we should put our point in better manner. Agar aap apne partner ko apna point samjha nahi pa rahe to do baaten ho sakti hai ya to aapko pyar se samjhana nahi aata ya doosra samjhna nahi chahta. Doosra samjhna nahi chahta use case mein bhi aapko apni galtiyo ka bhi ahsas hona chahiye.
Take my example we always fight for togetherness. We never fight for separation. i.e. We fight or argue to be together not to be separated. If you are an Indian as name suggest it dosen't help to be separated. In US/ UK where live in relationship/ multiple marriages / divorce is common getting separated on trivial issues is common. In US people get separated because husband snores a lot, wife has a bad odor. In India we cannot do this [Of course you can do this if you want, but it’s not our culture]. Always fight for your responsibilities not for your ego or rights. If you take care of your responsibilities other one will automatically take care of his or her responsibility. Now a days I have seen young couples fighting for their rights / identity / ego. Trust me these has no meaning in long term relationship. Take care of each other’s responsibility. Help each other fulfill each other’s responsibilities. You will gradually feel the happiness in your relationship.
So Fight more argue more but for Togetherness not for separation, for each other’s responsibilities not for rights, love not for ego, mutual existence not for your own identity. Identity as a couple is more important than identity of individual.